Finding Your Authentic Sexuality, Increasing Sensuality & Pleasure and Unlocking Your Wild Feminine Sexual Power in Astrology
One thing I am super passionate about is how astrology can be a tool to help us see the layers of our psychological framework, beliefs and limitations that keep us from truly experiencing joy. I love that the human experience gives us so many challenges and layers of conditioning that actually mean our soul can evolve into it’s highest potential, if we so choose.
So why do we question ourselves around sex?
What makes us so full of shame and uncertainty around our sexual style?
What makes this thing so weird to navigate?
Generally speaking, sexuality is one of the taboo topics still in society, but I literally don’t know why. Sexuality is one of the most potent, powerful and creative forces that we can cultivate. Ancient wisdom systems, such as tantra, have honoured the polarities of masculine and feminine energetics for thousands of years as something sacred and healing.
I’ve definitely noticed that in my late 20s and in my journey to finding my authentic expression of the feminine that sexuality has bought up so much shame, blockages around intimacy and even a need to clear a lot of karma. I think society has dictated to us these ideas of sex just the same as beauty, weight, masculinity, femininity, alcohol and all sorts that really aren’t rooted in truth. Often we are conditioned by over sensationalised foods, images and beauty… and sex is no different in my opinion.
The difficulty I experienced was that a) nobody talked about sex b) the only sex I saw on television was Hollywood sex with tiny skinny bodies and fake boobs and lots of … well.. Hollywood and c) my body didn’t fit the ‘good looking’ model that society was selling and therefore it wasn’t ‘sexy’ or even worthy of pleasure and love.
I had personal issues about low self worth, daddy issues and my anorexia to boot, and well… it was a cocktail for a total disaster if I am honest.
From the age of 15 I felt so pressured to have sex with a man to get his approval. I’ve never had a 1 night stand (no judgement to anyone who has, it’s just because I have such boundaries to sex for my own personal reasons around sexual trauma) but I definitely have a pathology which thinks that ‘if I don’t give sex, then he will find someone sexier and better and more hot and probably a porn star’. Jokes aside, I had a legitimate fear of being abandoned which has taken many years of healing, but it was really interesting to see that working through my sexuality and beliefs around it liberated me as well as returned me to my own inner wild woman.
I believe that every woman has a unique expression of femininity and sexuality, but looking outside will never truly reveal its nature. There is a lot of tide against women coming into self acceptance as they are, but this is a larger topic. I believe that as a woman in this era, there is a need to shut off the noise and experience sexuality not from the OUTSIDE but from the INSIDE.
Embracing and unleashing feminine sexual energy is so potent because it allows us to learn how to receive fully, surrender completely, accept pleasure and joy, know we are worth of feeling goodness, letting go of our body completely and experiencing. I know that when I am not fully relaxed, my sexual energy literally gets blocked because I am simply not in a receptive, yin state.
In a society where women are taught to be entrepreneur, boss ass babe, fitness model, mother of 7, skinny, nutritionist, corporate goddess it’s no fucking wonder it’s so hard for us to find our own authentic essence, let alone sexuality.
When I work with clients, there are a few places we can look astrologically, to uncover a) where you can start to feel repressed potent and powerful sexuality b) limitations to receiving and surrendering c) sexual style and love language d) what you need to feel safe in order to engage sexually e) where we hold trauma round receiving and sex f) self worth and body images or potential physical sexual blockages
Here are a few places you can look in your astrology chart to start to learn a little more about your own expression of sexuality and sensuality :
a) Venus – Our Venus sign represents our receiving, giving and sensuality. It is linked to our experience of beauty, sense of beauty and self esteem. Venus can also be linked to love languages and it really helps to understand what Venus is doing, aspects to Venus, it’s progression and also what condition it is in.
b) 2nd House/8th house Axis – Something that I love to examine is the condition and placements of 2nd house (pleasure, resources, abundance, finance, self worth, value) and 8th house (Receiving from others, sex, vulnerability, self undoing, obsession, sexual trauma, trauma, control). Having 8th house placements is really helpful because I’ve seen a LOT of sexual trauma here. Also, I notice that many with 8th house Ketu are susceptible to their sexual energy being attacked, manipulated and such and without any saturn aspects or it’s condition to provide protection, the person can suffer STIs, STDs and even sexual attacks in the form of succubus like demons or their sexual power being ‘taken away’.
c) Black Moon Lilith – Black Moon Lilith is my favourite to look at! All the potent powerful goddesses I seem to connect with have a strong bm Lilith placement (usually bm Lilith conjunct AC like me!). I call it the sexy powerful witch placement! Black Moon Lilith represents a person’s primitive impulses and behavior in their rawest form. It reveals our repressed sexuality, together with what makes us feel most vulnerable; it expresses the dark side of one’s personality, buried deep in the subconscious realms of our psyche. We can seriously unleash some real ass power when we look at this placement.
d) Pluto – Pluto is a really interesting planet to look at to examine sex as it is all about unconscious self undoing, the dark deep taboo stuff that nobody talks about. It is both destructive and powerful in equal measure. It rules obsessions also. What Pluto is aspecting in the chart can really help us to actually step into some serious power instead of self destruction.
e) Mars – Mars is useful because for me, I know my sexual style and needs based on my mars. In taurus, it’s long haul, taking time and cannot be rushed. The experience is the whole thing, not the end goal. And yet, not knowing this made me feel so worried, unconsciously about being rushed, having to be quick and dramatic and all of these things that weren’t me. They were blocking me in so many ways because I have so much taurus in my chart and not knowing that I felt like.. what’s wrong with me? I now know I need time and the conditions which I need to actually feel pleasure, receive and be sensual.
If you check out your chart, you can find all these placements! Or if you’re tired of wondering about your own unique energies, you can book in a reading and get some real answers!