Transforming Your World: Taking Back the Driving Seat & Living Self Love


Nature is a series of patterns. Humans are part of nature. Like nature, whether we are aware of it or not, the hardwiring of our brain is largely built on subconscious patterns. Although we may consciously choose many things, in actual fact our conscious choices can be underpinned by subconscious beliefs which propel patterns of choice and behaviour.

In many cases, as humans, we get very caught up in the details and emotional what’s & what nots of events. The biggest trick here is that we often miss the recurring patterns and fail to call ourselves or anyone else out on them. For example, say you have had recurring relationships ending with the partner cheating. In many instances, this may propel the deep rooted belief that all men/women are untrustworthy, relationships end in hurt, people betray you etc. This may feel like a spiritual bitch slap, but I say to you with a deep love for you as an extension of myself – you are the common denominator in these situations in your life. This is not about blame; you did not physically these people to act in certain ways which hurt you. However, it is possible that you did attract it into your life.

We live in a universe which is based on attraction; our emotional vibration is energy & energy is information. If this goes a little over your head, think energy: heat = information: get hot, we heat up. If in our subconscious mind we have a belief that we will be hurt, we will be betrayed, we will be left alone and we are a) unaware of it or b) aware and just choosing not to face the emotion hands, then we are subconsciously sending out an energetic message to the universe which says ‘hurt’/ ‘betrayal’/’abandonment’.

The issue here is that, whilst we may be unaware or even aware of our patterns or fear, worry and anxiety, they continue to hold the driving seat in our destiny whether we consciously like that or not.

For me, a large part of my 20s has been overcoming a complex programme of childhood patterns spanning from daddy issues, mommy issues to abuse & eating disorders. This is no joke, we all have patterns and beliefs, whether we want to admit it or not. This is just natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I cannot stress enough how challenging it is to overcome these deep rooted beliefs.

Oftentimes, these beliefs are entrenched from our parents in childhood. You may scoff at this like I did about 7 years ago, but it is truth that as children our brain is more malleable to our environment we grow up in.

What I wish for many people is that they seek help if they are fed up of no longer being in the driving seat. People who wish to take back their power. People who aren’t afraid to hold up their hands and be like “Hey, I don’t feel like my best self here!”

For many of you, this will not be an easy step, as it was not for me. I am an especially proud person (because my ego had to be a survivor growing up. I held a deep belief help is weak and help is not an option.)

Whatever perspective you’re looking at life through, when you get past this layer you will find that many of us have patterns which keep us separated from our best selves and thus stop us coming into oneness with our best essence and self realization that we are all part of the ecstatic dance of the universe or God.

I challenge you to ask yourself a question for 12 days solid. You integrate this question into literally every mundane choice in life which will soon reveal what drives you, what is important to you, what isn’t your highest version, what is your parents voice, what is other’s expectation & what violates your wants and needs.

“What would someone who loves themselves do?”

Most of you who know me well, know I have a few issues with fluffy self help stuff as it can really bypass a lot of deep rooted pain. However, this question gives you the potential to step into the driving seat after seeing whose driving you. It puts a pause between automatic (potentially non serving) patterns and calling back our conscious power which serves our best interest.

I cannot stress enough how often you need to do this. Every choice you make. Don’t question the answer, it may seem weird. Intuition often feels faint at first, but you will learn not to question it. For example, you may think “Shall I ask my friend ____ to hang out or shall I go alone and do yoga?”. The answer may be “Have a bath”. Our higher self is in alignment with the entire collective energy of universe & will always choose the right path for the right moment.

By choosing the loving option, we stop resisting the natural flow of life and slip into the organic & natural flow of the universe. We also start to live more in alignment with our higher desires, needs and wants. When we come into alignment and oneness with our best self,  our vibration invites the universe to only bring us the matching frequencies, love, abundance and wealth. It will bring us what we truly desire because we are living in accordance with our highest vibrational energy.

Try it for 12 days – don’t forget. Write post it notes everywhere.

Comment below and let me know how it goes!

If you’re serious about transforming your life through transforming yourself, please take a look at Reach Approach. It is a Birmingham based therapy that has changed my life and many others close to me.

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